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5 Ways to Get Over Yourself

Woman Looking in Mirror --- Image by © Christopher Weidlich/Corbis

This past weekend I had the great pleasure of being one of the keynote speakers at the Power to Emerge Conference in Buffalo, New York.  The night before the big event, the event host had a special reception for the VIPs.  During that session the recurring question many of the women asked, whether they were seasoned in their profession and doing well or just starting to build their business, they ALL asked in some way, how to take control of their inner critic. You know that voice inside of you that makes you second guess your brilliance. 

What I was reminded of sitting and pouring into these ladies is that our biggest critic is usually that one person staring right back at you through the mirror.  We often ignore that critic thinking she will go away but what I have learned in my own life is that if we don’t stop the negative thoughts we place on ourselves, this is more detrimental to us than any other negative word anyone else may speak over us.  Matter of fact even if it was another person’s words that made us second guess our selves we must choose to get over the thoughts that can come that make us forget who we are.  Actually what you must do is get over yourself.

Often times when we are in a negative emotional space, we often follow the patterns created in our minds by our thoughts in that moment. Allowing negative self-talk to dominate your mind can lead to low self-esteem, bad habits, depression and other unhealthy results.  So here are 5 ways to take control of your inner critic

  1. Replace negativity with positive self-talk. Exchange a negative thought like (I am worthless because I am not married, I am not smart enough, etc….) for a positive thought (I am a unique and worthwhile person that any man would be lucky to have for a wife, I am more than enough and have expertise in_______ that makes me dynamic in my area of expertise). If the negative thoughts can keep you down, then surely the positive ones can lift you up.
  1. Be Realistic. Was the situation as bad as you imagined it was? Maybe you are choosing to believe the LIE someone just told you instead of the TRUTH that is already in you.  Take a realistic look at you and put things into perspective.  Don’t let the pressure get to you. Be proactive. Attack those thoughts as soon as they start to speak.  
  1. Talk to a trusted friend. Allow a friend to console you, counsel you and challenge that negative thought pattern that is condemning you.
  1. Accept your imperfections. You have to know there is no such thing as a perfect woman.  We ALL make mistakes sometimes.  So is what you did a mistake and you learned the lesson?  If so move on, knowing you have found value in that situation = a lesson.  It is life’s lessons that make us be better and do better.  Think of it this way….

Life’s adversities, are God’s Universities – Rick Warren

  1. Count your positives This is similar to counting your blessings. What is good about you? What have you done that is positive? Before you know it, you will be focused on what IS great about you!

Don’t let that voice in your head overshadow your actual power and all the great gifts inside of you.  Speak the truth and change your circumstances by speaking life into who you are and gift you offer to the world when you do YOU unapologetically.


Nicole Roberts Jones works with women entrepreneurs, speakers, coaches & authors to build programming that generates multiple revenue streams from what they already know which is what she calls her FIERCE Formula. Her ultimate goals is to help her clients Take Their Brilliance to the BankTo learn more and for updates on her programs or services join her mailing list at   

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