In the continuation of our series on the 12 Things Successful People Do I Learned from Steve Harvey we are at our last 2 which are #11 – They Spend Time with the Right People & #12 – They Maintain Balance in Their Life
As a woman who has a career, responsibilities at home and a busy social life on top of that, practicing work like balance can be challenging. It’s difficult to do it all. Trust me, I have tried to live this whole work life balance thing and it was frustrating. I consistently felt like I was failing and feeling a little chaotic when life threw a wrench into my perfectly laid out plan to balance. Matter of fact, what I have found is even thinking you can balance it all is just impossible! After all you simply can’t be all things to all people all the time.
So, what do you do? For me, I have found a process that I call living an equalized life. Think about it, have you ever jumped in your car or just turned on a radio anywhere and thought to yourself, boy the sound is off in here and so you go to the equalizer on your radio to find the perfect blend of sounds just for you. Now here’s the thing, what is a perfect blend for you may not be a perfect blend for anyone else, it is all about what works for YOUR listening. Well I believe we can create a life that is equalized that is the perfect blend of all you need to feel full and complete. The difference between balance and equalizing your life is about what works FOR YOU not your sister, cousin, co-worker or bestie. When I started to implement this process in my life and began to share it with my clients, somehow, even though things aren’t equal, life feels complete. If you are saying to yourself, Nicole how do I do this? Here are the 5 steps that will begin this new way of thinking for you.
1. Be HERE Now. Wherever you are, be there, fully and completely. If you are at work, don’t be hard on yourself about the time you didn’t spend with your family the night before or what you should be doing with your significant other right now. And when you are at home, stop running to your computer because of the work you didn’t get done at the office. YES, this is a hard one for me as well but ultimately it is about you being FULLY PRESENT. Doing this allows you to enjoy the moment and not focus on yesterday or tomorrow when today is a gift. It is called the present after all. To do this you also must….
2. Let Go of The Story You Are Telling Yourself. Prior to me creating tis equalized way of thinking, often times when I was in one place and thinking of something I have forgot to do in another, it made me feel like I was a failure. Like I wasn’t doing my job good enough or that I was being a horrible bonus mom or wife. And as I began to talk to other busy mogul women, I realized that I was not alone in this feeling of guilt. But here is the new discovery I had. You know the story you tell yourself when you feel guilty because you are not being everything to everyone, the story is what makes your feel guilty and usually that story was made up by YOU or by the public perception you are feeding in to of who you are supposed to be. So, what do I say to that? STOP BUYING IN TO IT! Let that story go and allow yourself to step into step 3#
3. Set Aside Time to Do All the Things That Are Truly Important in Your Life. To live this equalized life, you have to know what YOU need to have IN your life and then be resourceful in how you manage it. Let me tell you what I mean by sharing the story of a client, a busy corporate manager, a wife and a mother of 2 and all 3 of those areas of her life where just overwhelming to fit everything in. To live this equalized life, she had to hire some help!! She hired a nanny to help with her kids and started cooking meals for her family for thwack on Sunday. So, every day, the nanny picked up her kids up for school, helped them with their homework and fed them her home cooked dinner. This allowed my client to finish her work and arrive home in enough time to give her kids a bath, tuck them in, read them a bedtime story and then still have enough energy that evening to spend time with her husband. To do this, she had to let go of the story she was telling herself that she HAD to be the one to pick up her children etc…. every day. She realized that balance she was trying to do without implementing what she needed just simply was setting her up for failure.
4. Be Clear Who You Allow in Your Space. Imagine that your life is like a bank account and people that you allow in it are either making deposits or withdrawals. If those that make withdrawals just take and take and take, they will leave your account with insufficient funds. And if you are the average of the five people you spend most of your time with you really want to make sure the people you allow in your life are giving value to your life as much as you ae giving value to theirs.
5. NO. Is A Complete Sentence. As a busy woman, you MUST make time for YOU. What good is it that you say yes to everyone and everything if you don’t make time for you? Sometimes you will just have to say no to some things so that you can integrate peace of mind in your life. What do you need to feel centered? For me, it is my evening long hot baths, my monthly spa appoints, my 2 times a year I take a Caribbean vacation. Laying on the beach is what REALLY does renew my spirit and lift my soul. You have to know what does that for you and make sure you are plugging that in to power up your own soul.
Think about it, as you age and retire, you are not going to wish you spent more time at work or that you remembered that one more projected that needed to be done. You are going to think of every experience you have had in your life that has brought you value and joy. Now while your job can do some of that, you also want to make sure you make time in your life to have great experiences and create that breathtaking future you so greatly desire.
Nicole Roberts Jones is known for her ability to draw the best out of entrepreneurs, corporate executives, heads of states & celebrities through her expertise in business, program and talent development. As the creator of the FIERCE Formula Nicole works with entrepreneurs to develop multiple streams of income building an empire from their expertise. Her corporate training programs partner purpose with performance to develop high-performing employees who excel at work. To learn more and for updates on her programs or services join her mailing list at www.SubscribeToNicole.com